Oh The Joys Of Flying

So as I was flying to Seattle from Sacramento, I made a mental list of things to put into a blog. They aren't in order and may seem kind of chaotic, but thats just the way my brain works.



The Trip There:
Here was my first lesson learned: When your parents tell you to leave 2 hrs. before your flight takes off, and its an hour and a half drive there; you should leave as early as possible... and hurry. My flight departed at 12:48 and I left Butte College at 10:10(ish). So that's only 78.8 miles. Plenty of time right? Well we were under the impression that my plane boarded at that time. So cut to me sprinting through security, tearing everything off and throwing my laptop in a bin so hard that I'm surprised it still works. This furious tempo was enhanced by the intercom saying "Draiden Hansler to board Alaskan at B5 in the next two minutes, trying to get out of here on time. Draiden Hansler to B5" What a disaster! So I start sprinting through the terminal as fast as I could with my bag thrown over my shoulder with my pants falling down because I didn't have time to throw my belt back on. But anyways, end result was, I ended up making it on time.
The Flight:
The Good: I had an aisle seat. The only other person in my row was a middle aged man who watched Breaking Bad on his iPhone and had his headphones in. How pleasant. The snacks were skimpy, but tasty. Oh! And the coffee wasn't half bad, and I got two cups of it. The stewardesses were pleasant, however I think they were the original Pan Am girls they were so old. Whatever happened to hot young brunettes who wore short skirts and heels in the airplane? Budget cuts I suppose.
The Bad:
It all started when the obese woman who sat across the aisle from me asked for an extended seat belt. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! The biggest hint that you seriously need to lose weight is that you need another seat belt. If we crashed and your seatbelt wasn't adequate, the airline would set a new high score for human pinball. But hey, you get what you get for being that overweight. Next, because of my aforementioned lateness I was forced to stow my bag a few rows ahead and was unable to get out my computer or headphones. (That is part of the reason why it has taken so long. The other is I'm lazy.) Without headphones, my computer or my music I was miserable. It felt like an eternity before I was able to get up and go to the bathroom. That was the highlight of my flight believe it or not. Now I don't know if this can be considered bad or expected, but there was a baby who never ceased screaming throughout the entire flight.
Random Thoughts Throughout the Experience:

• TSA would make phenomenal prostitutes. Their ability to frisk you up and down is just excellent. 
• The TSA theme song should be "Frisky" by Tinie Tempah. Heres the chorus.. "ooo la la la la na na na na na ooo la la la la la la la frisky" (Now that I see it typed, it looks stupid. Just go and listen)
• Shuttle buses to the airport should be driven by Sandra Bullock and never slow down below 55mph. 
• I think I deserve more than .5 net ounces of "snack mix" after paying way too much for my ticket.