Music (Part 1)

I thought as a comeback I would do a little analysis of the most beautiful thing in the world. Music. So without further ado....


Poetry and music are often synonymous. You hear so much about the poetry involved with different types of music, but you only hear that about country, pop and occasionally rock. Love ballads are highly celebrated for their poetic qualities. But what about hip hop and rap? The music that was built around poetry spoken in rhythm. 

The New Look Of Feminism

First of all a very happy Veterans Day to everyone. Thank you to all Veterans or active duty servicemen out there for your service. You are the reason that we live free in the greatest country in the world.
Anyways... to my next topic/rant. The whole aspect of feminism and the women's suffrage movement always fascinated me, and the recent sharp right turn that it has made in the last twenty or so years is baffling to me. It started out with wanting equality and for suffrage rights. It mostly worked and now we have women who are governors and CEO's of Fortune 500 companies. That only represents the .01% and the vast majority have taken the concept of feminism and twisted it way beyond where it should be.

Oh The Joys Of Flying

So as I was flying to Seattle from Sacramento, I made a mental list of things to put into a blog. They aren't in order and may seem kind of chaotic, but thats just the way my brain works.

*Sound Of Me Climbing On My Soap Box*

I would recommend watching this video before reading the rest of this post. 

The other day I was given this link. (Seriously. Go watch it.) I watched it and realized that Ratigan is right. It is hard to argue with his logic, and here's why.

• Congress doesn't care. This is hard to say because I know that the men and women that have been elected are capable and they are plenty educated. It is about time that these officials act like leaders and use some goddamn common sense. You don't build an economy from the top down for Christsakes! Maybe if they start to put forth plans that will help the lower-middle class and can get them some more education and jobs, the economy will pick up. The upper class will benefit from a boom in the economy so much more than the middle class, but if there is a strong middle class, it will lead to a stronger upper class. No matter what plans Congress passes, the upper class will make money, so why not help the other classes while you make an extravagant amount of money. 
• We aren't in kindergarden anymore. This idea of postponing the debt crisis until they can develop a longterm plan is foolish. If we continue to do that, the elected officials won't be able to develop a longterm plan. It all comes back to just having some fucking common sense. Sit down and do what the founding fathers did. Lock yourself in a room in the hot humid Philadelphia July and not leave until a plan is developed that can fix things. They tried it and look at that, we got the second greatest document of all time (behind the Magna Carta): The Constitution. 

I am surrounded by people who have lost faith in this amazing country we live in. That is the biggest loss during these trying times. Without patriotism, how can we turn this around? If you believe in something, work at it. If you still don't at this point, leave and come back after the people who care fix this. I know this goes against Reagonomics and the conservative ideal system, but we need to shock this economy into changing. Passive will not work anymore. 

Obama needs to grab ahold of the reigns and take control. It's time for him to stand in front of Congress and say "This is what it is and if you don't like it, there is the door". He is the most important individual in the world and if he starts to act like it, he will go down as one of the best presidents in history. But for now, cut him a little slack. He is doing the most difficult job in the world and deserves respect for that. Same goes for Congress. Support them and they will want to work harder. You ever think that maybe the reason they won't give their all to this country is because the people in it have no respect or appreciation for them? Those men and women were elected for a reason, and conservative or liberal, they all want the best for this country.

I am willing to fight for and defend this country and what it stands for until my final breath ; and maybe, just maybe, if the people in control felt the same way, we would see the improvement that is necessary to uphold our great nation. 

If you agree, spread this. Email it to everyone you have a contact for. Facebook, tweet or reblog it. 

My Newspaper Needs A Name....

BREAKING NEWS: Bond revealed as plot to show "British public superior"
HOLLYWOOD (AP)- In a stunning release by Sony Pictures Entertainment, it has been revealed that the main character in the longest running movie series of all time has been referred to by the wrong name for the past 49 years. James Bond is not who we think he is. James is, in fact, his middle name. His correct name is Bond James Bond. 
In a letter found in original Bond writer Ian Fleming's will, Fleming said, "It was well established between me and the other writers that this would be a farce that would prove that the British public was far superior to their American counterparts." It is almost as though this joke was hiding in plain sight for almost half of a century.
Anytime Bond introduces himself, it is always as "Bond, James Bond"; yet this release will forever rid of the infamous pause. 
Original Bond actor Sean Connery was unable to comment on this breaking story due to our reporter's inability to find the obscure Irish Pub he was drinking at. Current Bond actor Daniel Craig's blinding badass-ness that surrounds him warded off all attempts of contact. Our apologies. 

BREAKING NEWS: I STARTED A NEWSPAPER FOR THIS POST

BREAKING NEWS: Wisconsin Head Coach Appeals to NCAA to Make Game Only 59 Minutes
MADISON WI. (AP)- University of Wisconsin football head coach Brett Bielema has released a petition that outlines a 59 minute football game to the NCAA Board of Directors. This announcement came in a press conference shortly following Wisconsin's loss last week against Ohio State. In an uncharacteristically angry rant that required no prompting from reporters, Bielema said "We are the best 59 minute team in the country!"
This outburst was the result of two straight weeks of heartbreaking losses in the final minute against two division foes. On Oct. 22, Wisconsin was beaten on a Hail Mary thrown by Kirk Cousins that barely broke the plane of the goal line after an official review. Although clearly dejected, Bielema did not let his temper get the best of him in the post-game interview. 
Last weekend was a different matter. After watching his team battle back in the fourth quarter to tie the game, Bielema was forced to watch as Ohio State quarterback (name here) scrambled from the pocket to throw a 40-yard pass to his receiver who was waiting in the end zone. This pushed Bielema over the edge in the postgame press conference. "The NCAA has been extending games for far too long!" said Bielema. 
When asked his opinion on this rule change considering the fact that no. 6 ranked Stanford would have lost in their game against USC if this rule change was implemented, Bielema seethed "Do you really think I give a flying (explicative) whether Stanford loses?! Those mother(explicative) have been ahead of us all year long."
The NCAA has yet to respond to this proposition put forth by Bielema. 

The Irony In The Hipster Movement

Ohmygosh! Its the new big thing! Being... not mainstream.... is becoming... wait for it... mainstream! Oh the irony. This of course is the hipster movement. This movement is the reason anthropologists will be baffled by our culture in 250+ years. This movement endorses all of the things that get pushed under the rug by the rest of society! For example, cigarette smoking has been deplored by our society, yet hipsters can't be caught without their pack of "American Spirit" cancer sticks. Even if they don't smoke. Another example: Pabst Blue Ribbon. It has been pretty well established that nobody in America likes PBR, but because noone likes it, PBR has become the national beer of the hipster movement. Wait. Scratch that. You can't have endorsements! Wayyyyyy too mainstream. 
It is forbidden by the Hipster Handbook: We can't have a handbook! It's Already Been Done! to wear any clothes that cost more than 5$ but less than 75$. If its under 5$ then its thrifty and chic, but more than 75$ shows sophistication and class. (And you wonder why the middle class is deteriorating!!!) This has seen the market for cut-off khaki skinny jeans explode in the last 5 years. Guess that one slipped past Wall Street. 
If you want to listen to music, it has to be from no-name indie bands that play folk and slow mellow rock. If this band hasn't released an album and has just leaked its songs online, that is a huge bonus. And movies? European or indie. No excuses! Hollywood is just so cliché! 
The accessories are the most important part of any hipster wardrobe. A belt would be way too popular, so whoever had the idea of wearing a shoelace as a belt is up for the Hipster Nobel Prize. Next comes the silicone band with the small digital readout (because everyone has a big clock)that pairs with the snapback hat that endorses the obscure sports team whose mediocrity has led hipsters everywhere to support them. The retro designs that adorn these hats are just perfect for hipsters. But if its too cold for a snapback, you'll see hipsters wearing a solid color knitted/crocheted beanie thats hanging halfway off their head. That's the thrifty side of the hipster outfit, cause there is no way that could ever be classy... And the sunglasses! Oh the sunglasses. The brightly colored cheap Ray-Ban knock off's are just splendid. They match truly any outfit, because trashy never goes out of style!
The shoes vary and actually fit into normal society. Boat shoes and Toms have become all the rage in the hipster community (seems kinda contradictory right?)These aren't even brightly colored or anything. These shoes are actually kinda normal.
After all this, I'm just glad the little-known cafe I'm writing this at has outdoor WiFi so I can sit outside and smoke my American Spirit's. Oh God!! It's happening to me too!! Heeeeeelpppp!

Birthday Wishes To You

What has made birthdays into a revered day that is celebrated so greatly? To avoid sounding too much like my father, birthday's do deserve some merit and do not deserve to be pushed under the rug and ignored. However, at the same time, why does someone deserve a party, gifts, and special treatment for surviving another year in a middle-class suburban society. The environments in which surviving 365 more days should be celebrated often isn't: mainly because there are bigger issues at hand, such as surviving 24 more hours. You will never see a birthday cake with 12 candles for a child soldier in a war-torn third world country, but that is where a birthday should be celebrated the most.

In America, which I am going to blanket as a middle-class white suburban environment mainly because that is how I live, birthdays have become an event that is planned out more than a wedding. Kids are asked to make a list of things that they want, almost a reward for turning the age of 6 in such a pampered life that their birthday is "horrible" if they dont get everything they want. (greedy selfish basterds...) A birthday has morphed from a celebration of life to a way to establish your position in the niche that you live in. For example, if little Johnnny gets to pin the tail on a real donkey, he is the coolest kid in the neighborhood; but only until little Susie gets a bounce house at her birthday. The cycle continues until parents are taking their kids on vacations for their birthdays. (Editor's Note: I know I'm receiving a plane ticket to Seattle for my birthday, but that is to visit family. Just a little clarification there.) Oftentimes, it is the family that can throw the best party for their child that is the head of their social niche. It has turned into a competition of such proportions that I am fully expecting Hollywood to come up with a movie that pits neighbor mothers against each other in an attempt to one-up the other kid's birthday. (Someone call Steve Martin...) SPOILER ALERT: They ruin the parties for the respective kids and the kids make their own party and celebrate it together. 

But I digress....

To switch sides in defense of birthdays, there are a few that deserve to be celebrated because of the position in society that you elevate yourself to. According to society, once you have lived 5,844 days then you are old and mature enough to drive; and at 6,574 you are suddenly able to decide whether to smoke a cigar or a pack of cigarrettes... But not a day before! These are the ages that should be celebrated in their own way. Sixteen demonstrates a coming of age in which you are given responsibilities unlike any that have been experienced yet. And at 18 you are suddenly an adult and thrown out into the world of unlimited liability; certainly a party is in order to drink away those sorrows! 

All that being said, there is still one thing that perplexes me: why do you get presents! What about a birthday screams "THEY NEED A NEW iPhone!" This again seems like a way for parents to show off what they can afford to give their kids, but it reflects badly on their kids. Anyone whose parents "gave" them a car seem a tad bit spoiled to me. Yet, if they gave it to them for their sixteenth birthday then it is widely accepted. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this conversation.

-My parents just bought me a new car!

-Why? Did they just give it to you?

-No of course not! It was for my sixteenth birthday.

-Oh. That's sweet!

Here's the irony in that... the parents did "just give" it to them. Oh the ability of a teenager to mask a give-away as a reward for living sixteen years in the parents over-sheltered and spoiled middle-class life. But it is all okay if you put a bow on it and make it a birthday present. 

Oh well. Hey, that's the 'Murican perspective on birthday's. So here is to celebrating that you were born. Now... about scripting that children's movie.......

Hey look! I have a blog!

After a long inner monolog between me, myself and I, I came to a conclusion. "People should be able to see inside my head sometimes!" I guess now we can see if other people feel the same way. Now, instead of people being forced to listen to me, I just figured I would make a blog. At first I told people (and by people I mean my mommy) that I would be thrilled to get 6 regular readers. Then I realized I needed to slow my roll and not get too ambitious, so 3 is more reasonable. So now that I have nothing more to say and no way to wrap this up in a clever or intelligent way.... Enjoy!

READER DISCRETION ADVISED: This blog is unedited and is not looking to avoid hurting feelings. I call em like I see em; if you get offended easily I would not advise reading this regularly. Sorry in advance if that includes you.