All About Taxes

So it is tax day. Meaning that taxes are due and this just makes everybody whine. Some random tax thoughts after the jump.

Going Through Changes...

While my car is in the shop, I have the pleasure of driving another car for a while. I did a little comparison just to see what the differences were. A side-by-side match-up after the jump.

Cyanide and Happiness of the Week

Your Cyanide and Happiness of the Week (Mexican Edition) along with the Quote of the Week es despues del salto.

We'll Miss You!

It is time to say goodbye to another contestant. Rick Santorum... you are the weakest link! Now that Santorum has exited the race and all but handed the nomination to Romney, it is time to look back over his finest moments. The very first all-Santorum blog after the jump.

Too Short For A Blog V

This week's theme, if there even needs to be one for TSFAB, is political correctness. Whether it is Ozzie Guillen and his comments on Cuba, or promising things that cannot be delivered. To wrap it all up, I will give my suggestions on #withaGoProIwould. Check it all out after the jump.

Believe: Part Three (Fiscal Policy)

Here it is! The end of Believe! Which ironically comes at the statistical end of Rick Santorum’s push to steal the nomination away from Willard. So here is the last chapter of Part Three: Fiscal Policy.

Yankees Weekly Wrap-up

There was only one game this week: Opening Day. It was nothing to write home about. C.C. Sabathia gave up a first inning grand slam and another run in the 3rd inning. The real winner here was Raul Ibanez. The resident old guy turned DH had a three run homerun and another RBI on a groundout. The Yankees took a 6-5 lead into the 9th inning. Mariano Rivera is lights-out in the ninth right? Wrong. He allowed a single followed by a triple to tie it up. He loaded the bases on a pair of intentional walks. There was one out, so a double play was in order... if he didn't give up a game winning single to Carlos Pena. Pena is now Yankees-enemy #1 following his grand slam and game winning RBI.

Record (at time of publishing): 0-1 (L1)

Too Short For A Blog IV

This week's Too Short has got some political recap, racial profiling and another What-The-Hell-Is-That-Headline-Doing-On-CNN of the Week along with a video of who I wish I was.

Cyanide and Happiness of the Week

Here is your Cyanide and Happiness of the Week after the jump. Things to look forward to later in the week: I will wrap up Believe along with a Too Short For a Blog and possibly the first ever Yankees Weekly Wrap-up, but with Easter and skiing Saturday, I may not have time. We'll see.

Believe: Part Three (Human Capital)

Now that we are reaching the end of Mitt Romney's Believe, I notice that the subjects are getting less and less interesting. For instane, we started with Tax, Regulatory and Trade policies, but we will finish with the Human Capital and Fiscal policies. Human Capital Policy is after the jump.

Ron Paul Speech

On Tuesday, April 3rd, Dr. Ron Paul came to Chico State for an appearance. It was outside and open to anyone. Needless to say, I was there. I'll give you a synopsis of his speech after the jump.

Baseball Predictions: Part Two

We know that the Yankees will take the AL Championship Series over the Angels and make their way to the World Series. No surprise with their newly bolstered pitching staff. On to the NL. Often referred to as the weaker league, the NL has won the last two World Series (Giants/Cardinals) and the past few All-Star games. So who will win this year? NL playoff predictions after the jump.

Baseball Predictions!

The start of baseball's regular season is just around the corner. The playoff's got a little change with the addition of another wild card team to each league in company with a one game playoff between the two wild card's. Also, the Florida Marlins got a new stadium and name change. Enter the Miami Marlins. There were a few monstrous free agent signings by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Albert Pujols: 10yrs., $254 million, C.J. Wilson: 5yrs., $77.5 million) and the Detroit Tigers (Prince Fielder: 9yrs., $214 million). So would these signings pay off? After running all the teams through my head and analyzing previous year results; oh, and relying on the ever important coin flip, here are my predictions for the 2012 baseball season. Up first: the American League. On deck: the National League.

Believe: Part Three (Labor Policy)

Ah statistics. Really helps me open my mind and think clearly... about what I want to blog about next. I'm glad that I am given the opportunity to learn about all of this fascinating material... like Believe In America. Here comes the Labor Policy section!
[Ed. Note: There was no child slavery used in the making of this blog. What do you think I am? Apple?]

Investment Opportunity

The Mega Millions jackpot is at the highest it has ever been. It has reached $500 million dollars. Let's look at this from an analytical standpoint. The jackpot is available two ways, in payments over 26 years or as a single lump sum. If you choose the lump sum option, the jackpot is lowered to $359 million. The odds are 176 million to 1, and each ticket costs $1. Therefore, if you have the money, you could buy a ticket for every possible outcome, and still come out ahead. Even after taxes, the $500 million jackpot over 26 years would settle out at approximately $250-300 million. So your $176 million investment earned you 42% interest over 26 years, on the low end. That is not factoring in the interest rate you could get at a bank off-shore annually. The lump sum option however, would return approximately $175-200 million after taxes; not worth the money that you are putting up. I've got $75. Who wants to throw in the other $175,999,925?

Believe: Part Three (Energy Policy)

Here comes the Energy Policy for Mitt Romney's Believe, which I am sure included three parts: Drill, Keep Drilling, and Why Did You Stop Drilling?

Restoring Faith In Athletes

Athletes are seen as the biggest cry-babies of the world: the guys that will complain about not making $8 million a year. However, there are stories about athletes who, every now and then who do good with their money, and take less money to come back to a team that they love. Amid all of his downfalls, Chad Ochocinco is one of these athletes.

Cyanide and Happiness of The Week

Before I head off to the mountain for some skiing, here is the Cyanide and Happiness of the Week.

Believe: Part Three (Trade Policy)

Now that I am on Spring Break and can take a little break, it is time to finish up Believe. After a dominant win in Illinois, it is becoming clearer and clearer it will be a Romney and Obama election. What about this newcomer Kony? Well the whole Kony 2012 movement could work out well for him. He has a great poster and logo, but I just don't think he can pull it off this late in the election season. Maybe Kony 2011 would have worked out better for him. Anyways, here is the Trade Policy chapter of Part Three and a Mitt Romney music video.

The Marketplace

I had a sudden bout of inspiration and wrote a short story. Heavy on the short. It is only about 240(ish) words. It is called The Marketplace. Enjoy.

Learning To Fly

It is common knowledge that the first flight was done by the Wright Brothers in North Carolina. People had done the damndest things to try and fly before them, but what is not so common knowledge is that the Hansler family has done some crazy things too. For three generations, from grandfather to grandson, the Hansler clan has attempted to fly.

Too Short For A Blog III

Romney is coming back I swear, but I got more hours at work, so that is huge. With my recent speeding ticket, car going into the shop, and my taxes due in a month, any penny is needed. Until then, you will just have to settle with some fill-in-with-whatever-is-on-my-mind. Up tonight is Kony, Andy Pettitte's return and the beginning of Santorum's run through the South.

Cyanide and Happiness of the Week

Here is your Cyanide and Happiness of the week. Don't plan on anything new until at least Thursday night because I have three tests in between now and then. Not fun. But this did really cheer me up...

Skiing at Northstar

Over the weekend, I went to Northstar-at-Tahoe for some skiing. It was amazing, despite there only being a little over 50" of snow. It was a sunny and just perfect conditions. At Northstar, they have people at the top of lifts and at some of the jumps who are taking pictures. They take said pictures and then link them with your lift pass electronically and then you can access them online. They cost an extravagant amount of money -- just like everything else at Northstar -- to own, but none to take a screen shot of and then post to your blog. Oops. Shouldn't have said that. Pictures and synopsis of the day after the jump.

Believe: Part Three (Regulatory Policy)

It's back baby! I think I can finally take a breath and finish up the Regulatory Policy in Part Three. So where did we leave off? Oh yeah, the economy is in shambles and Romney blamed it on the black guy. Typical. To the regulations!

Cyanide and Happiness of the Week

So to hold you over until I finish the next part of Romney's Believe (hopefully today or tomorrow), here is a Cyanide and Happiness of the Week.

Another First

Here is another first: I am going to openly trash someone. This is going to be vulgar and mean, just to prepare you. I have a lot of work and tests in the upcoming few days so the posts may be sporadic. I will be back for the rest of Mitt Romney's Believe In America book in just a few days.

Just A Thought

Why, when people are suicidal, do they become melancholy? I understand that oftentimes it can spring from depression; however, once you hit a point where you are going to kill yourself, why not do everything? Go jump off a cliff into a body of water; drive faster than you ever have; find the biggest hill you can and board down it; jump out of an airplane; learn to ride a motorcycle; ride that motorcycle too fast; go car surfing; BASE jump off a canyon side; enjoy toasting some bread in the bath; go skiing in an avalanche; go white water rafting; mountain bike down a mountain; because hey, if you crash or things don't go as planned? You were planning on dying anyways. And through all of this maybe you will fall in love with life again, and see that there is something worth living for.

Part Three: Mitt Romney's Plan (Tax Policy)

Now that we have gotten past all of the fluff of the introduction, the assessment of America in our economic crisis and the "failure's" of President Obama we can move on to Romney's Plan. This is the bulk of the book that he has released and should be the most interesting. So without further ado, here is the first section of Part Three: Tax Policy.

Too Short For A Blog II

So I still can't keep my train of thought running and on track, so here are a few more short posts that I collaged together. SPOILER ALERT: There is a little video bonus after the jump. Also on the list for this one is the historic US soccer win over Italy and the bump in car sales in February.

Part Two: President Obama's Failure

Damn, we are just moving right along! We are already on Part Two and so far we have learned that Romney is literate and conservative. Learning new things already! All joking aside, congratulations to Romney for winning Michigan and Arizona yesterday. Gained him back some momentum and slowed Santorum's roll as we move along to Super Tuesday. Now, back to the economic plan!
Previous Installments: Introduction and Part One

Cyanide and Happiness of The Week (And Bonus!)

Your Cyanide and Happiness of the week is after the jump along with some observations on the tragic Ohio school shooting.

Part One: America In Economic Crisis

Now that we are finished with the introduction section to Mitt Romney's "Believe in America: Plan for Jobs and Economic Growth," it's time for the good stuff. The Economic Plan. The meat of the issue. The heart of the matter. The shark in a group of sardines. The coffee at an AA meeting. It's the one thing that everyone is talking about!
If you missed the first installment in this series here it is: Introduction to Mitt Romney's Economic and Growth Plan.

I Read It So You Don't Have To

Mitt Romney released his economic plan. It is 156 pages of conservative drivel. So I will read it for you and pull out the important stuff. Obviously, this all won't fit in one post so this will be a series, updated every day(ish) until I am finished. My goal is by Super Tuesday, but don't count on it.

Too Short For A Blog

I have so many random thoughts that -- SQUIRREL! -- it is hard for me to sit down and write a full-length blog often. Thats why you only get one blog every few days. However, there are a lot of things that I could write a paragraph on. So I thought I would just start writing about a paragraph at a time, and when I have two or three, post them as a compilation. So this is the trial edition. Enjoy.

Cyanide and Happiness of the Week

For a while now, my favorite online comic has been Cyanide and Happiness. It is a roughly drawn comic that fits my kind of humor. So weekly, I will share it with you: the Cyanide and Happiness of the Week. This week's is comic #1494...

Spit-Gate? Really?!?!

News from the golf world! No, not Phil Mickelson starting the year off on a hot streak or Bill Haas beating him at Riviera in a playoff. Not Tiger falling apart at Pebble and placing 15th. Not the Accenture-Match Play Tournament this weekend. The gold world is abuzz about Keegan Bradley, who is an up-and-coming young star on the PGA Tour. However, the real issue with him is his pre-swing ritual.

S**t Sportscenter says

So one of the new things around the internet is S**t ___ says. Basically, you just make a list of S**t someone says. The most famous is S**t Nobody Says. Sportscenter says some pretty stupid stuff that, when taken out of context, is hilarious. So I'm going to make one. It may just be the easiest blog I have ever done. Sit down and watch Sportscenter, then everytime they say something that is just so Sportscenter-esque that I must share.... well I type it.
[Ed. Note: Jeremy Lin puns are not included. I am Lincapacitated by them. Ah God! The Linvasion has hit me!]

A Trilogy Of Sorts?

So believe it or not, Rick Santorum reads my blogs. Okay, don't believe it. It isn't true. As far as I know. Anyways, I hypothetically found his fictional journal that isn't real. In it, I found a song he had written based on the lyrics of Gives You Hell, by The All-American Rejects that was addressed to Washington and New Jersey. Crazy right? So I stole it and put it up here.

More Updated Song Lyrics

This time I wanted something a little bit more contemporary to work with. Enter: Dare You To Move by Switchfoot. A really good song to begin with, is it just not relevant enough right now. But not anymore!
[Ed. Note: This post was thought up while washing dishes at Japanese Blossoms. No correlation between the two. Seriously.]

A Bright Spot In Dark Times

In an era where auto-tune and electronic alteration rules the music world, there is one bright spot that stands out like no other. With a voice that could rival Etta James, Whitney Houston and Aretha Franklin, British artist Adele has shown us that a beautiful voice is all you need to make great music.

A.J. We Didn't Mean It!

Fans of a team consider themselves part of that team, and a team is a family. Everyone knows that one person of the family that everyone loves to hate on. For my Yankees, that was A.J. Burnett. It isn't hard to figure out why: the man just didn't perform! He was atrocious over the past few years and I dreaded every fifth day when he started. Now that he is set to leave though, I don't want him to go.

BREAKING NEWS: HOSTAGE SITUATION/AMBER ALERT

BREAKING NEWS: Mother Earth Holds Winter Hostage
Earth (AP) - In a shocking development, it has been released that Mother Earth is holding winter hostage. The ransom has been released as "less than 7 billion" permanent residents of Earth. 

New-Age Lyrics

So a new thing I thought I would try out is assigning new and contemporary lyrics to an old classic. To start off easy, I did one that everyone knows: Imagine, by John Lennon. Now when your done signing it out loud, check out the new one.

I Bought Into It

So after rejecting the Super Bowl this year, I finally got sucked into the vortex of hype that is the finale of the NFL season. I got sucked so far down into the black hole of consumerism that I came up with a few ideas for the Super Bowl next year, starting with having anyone not named Madonna or Nicki Minaj preform at halftime.

Constitution? When It's Convenient....

So in America, we have this thing called a Constitution. It was written a long time ago, and now we have these 9 old folks whose sole job is to defend it. These 9 judges, the "Supreme's" if you will, know it pretty well but rarely talk about it. Then on the other hand, we have the American public. As a whole, they don't know much about this document, but most profess that our country must follow these guidelines set forth hundreds of years ago. Ah, but politicians. These are the combination of the two. Politicians know a lot about the Constitution and preach it to others. But do they mean it?

A First For Me

So let me be straight with you. I don't think I have ever written a politically correct post that never offended anyone. Now I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but some people do. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I was going to write about in my first politically correct post, that was not offensive to anyone, and that just about everyone could agree on. Then it hit me. An idea so brilliant in it's simplicity. So here it is.....

Pop Culture Scales

Let's be honest, normal scales have gotten old. One to ten this, one to ten that. How boring! Well what if they used pop culture icons as a scale? That got me thinking. And then I ended up with this.

Some Yankee Puns

So as I wasted my life on Twitter, I found inspiration. One of the things that was trending was #UseAYankeeInASentence. Challenge Accepted. I went through the roster and picked out some names that I could use in a sentence. Some of them are a reach so it helps if you read them out loud.

Religion. Yeah. I Went There.

In the past few months I have blogged about things I believe in. That was all just superficial and this post is bound to step on some toes. There is one topic that is most often avoided because of the controversy that follows it like an ominous cloud: religion. Lacking a better term that sums up the moment: shit just got real. So this is where you can see how I truly feel about something. There are few people who I trust to tell this to, but I wanted to make a leap and literally spell it out right here in my blog. 

I Bought A Mirror

I think it compliments me nicely.

.........I'm so alone.......

Boondock Saints

After finishing one of the greatest movies of all time, Boondock Saints, I had the urge to write about it. I have seen this movie a number of times, and it resonates with me each time. This story follows two devout Irish Catholic brothers, Connor and Murphy MacManus, who live in Boston. After a bar fight gone wrong, they become vigilantes on the streets of Boston. Their friend Rocco, a delivery man for the Italian mob joins forces with them after a night of heavy drinking. Looking past the vulgarity and violence, there lies a more pressing social issue.

Some Presidential Poetry

If you've ever read my blog before or know me personally, you know I am a pretty poetic guy. So instead of writing a novel that summarizes each of the Republican candidates in 2012, I had the inspiration to write a little poem about each. Not some big long ballad, but a Haiku. Just a quick three line poem that is easy to write and easier to read. Includes all candidates from the very beginning to those that have stuck it out to the end.

Don't Do It Hillary!

Hillary Rodham Clinton. Your name is being thrown around to become the next Vice President under Obama. It's no secret, don't act so surprised. You are the Golden Child, the one that even the starchiest Republicans can say "well... she's alright". You have been a phenomenal Secretary of State under Obama and gave him a damn good run for the 2008 Democratic nomination. So why wouldn't you want to be the next Vice-President under Obama? Well, let me explain.

Newt Gingrich's Facial Expressions

Oh the many faces of Newt Gingrich. No, I'm not talking about his fluctuating political views, I mean his literal faces. This man has more facial expressions than a silent movie star. Let this be your guide to those faces.

Guide To The BCS

Congratulations! You have recently been awarded the position of Dean at New College University (NCU). As is with every other D-1 college in the nation, your identity will be wrapped up in the performance that your football team puts forth. That's why I have created a simple 7 step process to national notoriety.

My Plea For Huntsman

This country is crippled right now. It is that way because of both political parties and the ferocity in which these parties attack each other. It is not uncommon for a Democrat to insult a Republican for his hard stance on the defense budget, or lack there of. On the other side, it is habitual for a Republican to bash Obamacare. During election years, these lines are miniature Berlin Walls that surround our homes, places of business and schools, each one painted blue or red and adorned with a donkey or elephant.