I Read It So You Don't Have To

Mitt Romney released his economic plan. It is 156 pages of conservative drivel. So I will read it for you and pull out the important stuff. Obviously, this all won't fit in one post so this will be a series, updated every day(ish) until I am finished. My goal is by Super Tuesday, but don't count on it.

Intro:
So the idea of this is: I, Mitt Romney, am better than Obama. Therefore, all he does is bash Obama and talk about "suffering and hardship on a grand scale". Some choice quotes from it...

• "the wrenches the Obama administration has thrown into the economy"
• "worldwide alarms about the creditworthiness of the United States"
• "the absence of presidential leadership brought this country to the precipice of default"
• "Washington has become an impediment to economic growth."

All this proves to us is that Mitt Romney is not illiterate. Which puts him one step ahead of Rick Perry.

Day One:
One thing that all candidates have in common is that they think that "Day One" is much like Valentine's Day is in a relationship: If you try really hard for one day, you don't have to for the next 364. Here is what Mitt Romney thinks he can do on the first day in between asking everyone under him, "Is this real life?"

• Reduce the Corporation Tax Rate
• Implement free trade markets with South Korea, Columbia and Panama
• Pawn a comprehensive survey of American energy off on the Department of the Interior
• Return funding and responsibility to the States (how much and what responsibilities have yet to be released. Don't hold your breath.)
• Cut non-defense discretionary spending by 5%
• Begin to repeal Obamacare
• Eliminate regulations that burden the economy
• Process rapid drilling permits on American soil
• Sanction China for unfair trading practices. Does he know that Apple runs this country? 
• Empower American businesses and workers by discouraging union work on government projects 

Also in there somewhere is a reference to the crazy and kinky Mormon sex him and Ann will have on the Oval Office Desk; like, maybe with their shirts off.

What can I say? I'm a craaaaazy guy!

Up next is Part One: America In Economic Crisis.