Spit-Gate? Really?!?!

News from the golf world! No, not Phil Mickelson starting the year off on a hot streak or Bill Haas beating him at Riviera in a playoff. Not Tiger falling apart at Pebble and placing 15th. Not the Accenture-Match Play Tournament this weekend. The gold world is abuzz about Keegan Bradley, who is an up-and-coming young star on the PGA Tour. However, the real issue with him is his pre-swing ritual.

So while preparing for a shot, Bradley lines it up, visualizes the shot, practices once or twice, spits, then steps up to shoot. That is what everyone is talking about: he spits before he swings. How disgusting!

I'll use it as a spittoon!

So this is what our oversensitive and easily offended media is reporting on. Yes, golf is the gentlemen's game. It is an honorable and classy event for all (unless John Daly is invited). This does not mean that we should be publicly criticizing the man for letting loose a little excess saliva before he takes a shot. According to Bradley, he isn't aware that he does it, and that is has just become a part of his habitual routine.
After watching Tiger Woods verbally assault everyone within earshot with his profane language, you would think that this is a nonissue. It is an issue, because he is not one of the greatest golfers ever to pick up a club. Spit-Gate even grabbed an ESPN headline that could have Linstead been used for something more Linportant, like Jeremy Lin. In an era where the average baseball player must go through at least 4 cans of dip a game, and it is natural to see 6 out of 9 players on the field with a bulging lower lip, why is this a main headline.
I am just glad that our media is choosing to report on this story and not on why national gas prices are higher than Snoop Dogg on PuffPuffPassTuesdays. Or on the impending Super Tuesday. Or on the Iran leader of military forces saying, and this is a rough translation from Iranian, "We gonna kill all you motherf***ers!", like he was Mr. Chow from The Hangover.

So long gay boys!

I guess that is just the nature of our media these days: looking for the story that will infuriate the American pub- OH MY GOSH! DID RICK SANTORUM JUST PICK HIS NOSE?!?!?!